If you were orphaned when you were a child, I feel sorry for you, but not for your parents.
If you don't want to give people a bad name, you will have your children illegitimately.
Is your name Laryngitis? You're a pain in the neck.
Is your name Dan Druff? You get into people's hair.
I hear you pick your friends -- to pieces!!
I bet your brain feels as good as new, seeing that you've never used it.
They say that two heads are better than one. In your case, one would have been better than none.
You should toss out more of your funny remarks; that's all they're good for.
People can't say that you have absolutely nothing! After all, you have inferiority!
You must have a low opinion of people if you think they're your equals.
I wish you were all here. I don't like to think there is more!
If we were to kill everybody who hates you, it wouldn't be murder; it would be genocide!
Even your best friend cheats on you and lies to you, and that's the best friend you can get.
I don't think you are a fool. But then, what's my own humble opinion against thousands of others?
Nobody says that you are dumb. They just say you were sixteen years old before you learned how to wave goodbye.
People say that you are the perfect idiot. I say that you are not perfect, but you are doing alright.
Ordinarily people live and learn. You just live.
The mind reader had a very busy day today reading minds. You were a vacation for him.
I thought of you all day today when I was at the zoo.
When you talk, other people get hoarse just listening.
I would say that you are barking up the wrong tree, but that is your natural voice.
I reprimanded my brother for mimicking you. I told him not to act like a fool.
I'm very careful of how I express my opinions of you because I want to put as much vituperation in them as possible.
I don't hold your behavior against you because I realize it was caused by childhood trauma; your parents spanked you when you fell on your head and broke the cement.
more insults
Yo momma's so stupid,she tried to drop acid but the car battery fell on her foot.
Yo momma's so stupid,
she thinks Taco Bell is a Mexican Phone Company.
Yo momma's so stupid,
she ordered a cheese burger from McDonald's and said "Hold the cheese."
Yo momma's so stupid,
she put a quarter in a parking meter and waited for a gumball to come out.
Yo momma's so stupid,
she got fired from the M&M factory for throwing away all the W's.
Yo momma's so stupid,
when she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 twice instead.
Yo momma's so stupid,
she ordered her sushi well done.
Yo momma's so stupid,
she thought she needed a token to get on soul train.
Yo momma's so stupid,
she bought a solar powered flashlight.
Yo momma's so stupid,
she told everyone that she was "illegitiment" because she couldn't read.
Yo momma's so stupid,
she got hit by a parked car.
Yo momma's so stupid,
she sold the car for gas money.
Yo momma's so stupid,
she thought Sherlock Holmes was a housing project.
Yo momma's so stupid,
she thought asphalt was a skin disease.
Yo momma's so stupid,
she thought Delta Airlines was a sorority.
Yo momma's so stupid,
when she saw the "NC-17" sign, she went home and got 16 friends.
Yo momma's so stupid,
she called the 7-11 to see when they closed.
Yo momma's so stupid,
when she heard 90% of all accidents occur around the home, she moved.
Yo momma's so stupid,
she got fired from a blow-job.
Yo momma's so stupid,
she asked you what the number for 911 was.
Yo momma's so stupid,
she thinks Christmas Wrap is Snoop Doggy Dogg's holiday album.
she bought a video camera to record cable TV shows at home
more insults
I heard you got a brain transplant and the brain rejected you!
I think you should live for the moment. But after that, I doubt I'll think so.
Man alive! But I wish you weren't.
I believe in respect for the dead; in fact, I could only respect you if you WERE dead.
Is your name Maple Syrup? It should be, you sap.
You spent so much time trying to get rid of that halitosis that you had only to find out that you are not popular anyway.
You are the kind of person who, when one first meets you, one doesn't like you. But when one gets to know you better, one hates you.
We know that romance brings out the beast in you -- the jackass.
I'm looking forward to the pleasure of your company since I haven't had it yet.
There are several people in this world that I find obnoxious and you are all of them.
All of your girlfriends kiss you with their eyes closed. Considering your face, that's the only way they could.
I hear that when your mother first saw you, she decided to leave you on the front steps of a police station while she turned herself in.
Would you like to replace my business partner who died this morning? I'll arrange it with the undertaker.
People say that you are outspoken, but not by anyone that I know of.
Your conversation is like the waves of the sea. It makes me sick!
We can always tell when you are lying. Your lips move.
When you get to the men`s room, you will see a sign that says, "Gentlemen." Pay no heed to it. Go right on in.
The only things you ever make are mistakes and cigarette ashes.
You always manage to keep your neck above water. We can tell by the color of it.
All that you are you owe to your parents. Why don't you send them a penny and square the account?
I heard you have hair on your chest, and that`s not your only resemblance to Rin Tin Tin.
No one should be punished for accident of birth, but you look too much like a wreck not to be.
There was something about you that I liked, but you spent it.
Sit down and give your mind a rest.
``````````````````\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\************************************
Yo momma's so fat,
she makes Free Willy look like a tic tac
Yo momma's so fat,
when she walked in front of the TV I missed 3 commercials
Yo momma's so fat,
the last time she saw 90210 was on the scale
Yo momma's so fat,
when she steps on the scale it says one at a time please
Yo momma's so fat,
when she steps on the scale it says sorry we don't do livestock
Yo momma's so fat,
when she goes to a restaurant she gets and estimate
Yo momma's so fat,
at a restaurant when they give her the menu she replies " yes Please"
Yo momma's so fat,
when she went to the beach Greenpeace tried to drag her back in the water.
Yo momma's so fat,
when she went to get a water bed, they put a blanket across Lake Michigan.
Yo momma's so fat,
when she sat on a rainbow, Skittle's fell out.
Yo momma's so fat,
when she tiptoes, everyone yells "Stampede!"
Yo momma's so fat,
she makes sumo wrestlers look anorexic.
Yo momma's so fat,
she makes Big Bird look like a rubber duck.
Yo momma's so fat,
when she wore a shirt with an AA on it, people thought it was American Airlines biggest jet.
Yo momma's so fat,
Dr. Martens had to kill 3 cows just to make her a pair of shoes.
Yo momma's so fat,
when she goes to an all you can eat buffet, they have to install speed bumps.
Yo momma's so fat,
she can't stay on a basketball court for three seconds without getting called for a key violation.
Yo mama so fat,
that she climbed Mt. Fuji with one step.
Yo momma's so fat,
I had to take a train and two busses just to get on her good side.
Yo momma's so fat,
when she hauls ass, she has to make two trips.
Yo mama' so fat,
she's 36-24-36... but that's her forearm, neck, and thigh!
Yo momma's so fat,
they had to grease a door frame and hold a Twinkie on the other side to get her through.
Yo momma's so fat,
she can lay down and stand up and her height doesn't change.
Yo momma's so fat,
the horse on her Polo shirt is real.
Yo momma's so fat,
when she runs she makes the CD player skip... at the radio station.
Yo momma's so fat,
her belly jiggle is the first ever perpetual motion machine.
Yo momma's so fat,
all the restaurants in town have signs that say: "Maximum Occupancy: 240 Patrons OR Yo Momma"
Yo momma's so fat,
when she ran away, they had to use all four sides of the milk carton.
Yo momma's so fat,
instead of wide leg jeans, she wears wide load.
Yo momma's so fat,
when she gets in an elevator, it has to go down.
Yo momma's so fat,
when I said I wanted "Pigs in a blanket" she got back in bed.
Yo momma's so fat,
when she was diagnosed with the flesh eating disease, the doctor gave her 5 years to live.
Yo momma's so fat,
she was born with a silver shovel in her mouth.
Yo momma's so fat,
she's got smaller fat women orbiting around her.
Yo momma's so fat,
a picture of her fell off the wall!
Yo momma's so fat,
her picture takes two frames.
Yo momma's so fat,
her cereal bowl came with a lifeguard.
````````````====================\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\*************************
I don't know what makes you so stupid, but it really works!I don't think you are a fool. But then what's MY opinion against thousands of others?
I hear the only place you're ever invited is outside.
I hear you were born on a farm. Any more in the litter?
I heard you got a brain transplant and the brain rejected you!
I heard you went to have your head examined but the doctors found nothing there.
I know you are nobody's fool but maybe someone will adopt you.
I thought of you all day today. I was at the zoo.
I would ask you how old you are but I know you can't count that high.
I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in?
I'd like to leave you with one thought...but I'm not sure you have anywhere to put it!
I'd love to go out with you, but my favorite commercial is on TV.
I'll never forget the first time we met - although I'll keep trying.
I'm busy now. Can I ignore you some other time?
I've seen people like you before, but I had to pay admission!
If I ever need a brain transplant, I'd choose yours because I'd want a brain that had never been used.
If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person alive.
If we were to kill everybody who hates you, it wouldn't be murder; it would be genocide!
If what you don't know can't hurt you, she's invulnerable.
If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean.
If your brain was chocolate it wouldn't fill an M&M.
Keep talking, someday you'll say something intelligent.
Learn from your parents' mistakes - use birth control!
Pardon me, but you've obviously mistaken me for someone who gives a damn.
So, a thought crossed your mind? Must have been a long and lonely journey.
Some day you will find yourself - and wish you hadn't.
There is no vaccine against stupidity.
````````````*************************************-------------------\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
"He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don't let that fool you. He really is an idiot."
- Groucho Marx
"His mind is so open - so open that ideas simply pass through it."
- F. H. Bradley
"The stupid person's idea of a clever person."
- Elizabeth Bowen talking about Aldous Huxley
"Avoid all needle drugs. The only dope worth shooting is Richard Nixon."
- Abbie Hoffman
"The only genius with an IQ of 60."
- Gore Vidal talking about Andy Warhol
"A sharp tongue does not mean you have a keen mind"
- Anon.
"Are you always this stupid or are you making a special effort today"
- Anon.
"Brains aren't everything. In fact in your case they're nothing"
- Anon.
"Don't let you mind wander - it's far too small to be let out on its own"
- Anon.
"He always finds himself lost in thought - it's an unfamiliar territory"
- Anon.
"He doesn't know the meaning of the word "fear" - but then again he doesn't know the meaning of most words"
- Anon.
"I don't know what makes you so dumb but it really works"
- Anon.
"I don't think you are a fool, but what's my opinion compared to that of thousands of others"
- Anon.
"He does the work of three men: Larry, Curly & Moe"
- Anon.
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